Motherhood Unplugged - The Working Mom
I wouldn’t be lying if I said that the last one year of my life has erased considerable chunks of memories of earlier years. Not complaining, just stating reality as it is :-) No, it’s definitely not the recency effect, but the significance and uniqueness of a role that I took on a year ago – that of being Little’s mother. I wouldn’t know where to start or where to end if I were to share the journey in its entirety. But considering the numerous messages and questions I get from my Instagram followers, fellow mothers on my experience as a working mother, I thought I would share bits and pieces of that part of my life on this post.
If someone were to ask me shortly after I had Ayaan, when I would resume work, I would have drawn a blank. Since I am not employed and have the flexibility of figuring out my work schedule to my convenience, I just hadn’t given it much thought. The first month was like nothing that I had ever experienced in my life. No amount of articles that you have read nor the countless advices you are rendered can really prepare you for the first few weeks with your new-born. From severe changes in your body in the form of sore stitches, cracked nipples, back pain to the emotional instability (blame the roller coaster hormones) everything was absolutely overwhelming. Navigating this phase on sparse sleep with a ‘little being’ so dependent on you and who has to be fed on demand (the demand being made literally every 30 minutes) was demanding to say the least.
Fast forward a couple of months - months filled with tremendous learning, increased self-awareness and most importantly a better sense of routine with Little, I was now ready, at least physically feeling a lot more my normal self. By now, one of the biggest challenges for me was fitting into the mould the society has built for mothers. A role where your identity essentially becomes that of a nurturer. I took on my first bridal assignment when Little was just about 3 months old. I had a lot of people asking me back then how I was doing it. The short answer to the question is ‘with great difficulty’ and while this is the easy truthful answer, it is not something that everybody comprehends well. From some I sensed a genuine concern for my well-being, from some others there was that silent questioning of my priorities. Honestly, I do wonder how I did it. Early mornings, tiring journeys, breast pumping routines, long days and the worst of all, ‘separation anxiety’. I am still figuring out who suffers most from it though – is it Little? is it Me? Or is it every person who thinks that a mother and child has to be nestled together in the initial couple of years.
I have read that a healthy mother-child relationship is one that offers the child security, acceptance, love, nurture and learning. And this is something that I am committed to for the rest of my life. I also believe in the fact that ‘happy mothers raise happy children’. Chasing my dreams, constantly challenging myself and a fulfilling career add a lot to my happiness . I am ecstatic when I have had an excellent shoot day, a bridal engagement or published a good post. And that happiness radiates in my relationship with Little as well. I want my son to understand early that every woman in his life, be it his mother, sister, partner, daughter will have their own dreams and he should play his part in supporting them achieve it.
For those around, it would mean a lot to me and other working mothers if you take a moment to ask about how our day at work was, check on our physical and emotional well-being. Don’t get me wrong – We are delighted when you ask us about our children and their development. But now that we are mothers , please don’t forget to check on other aspects of our lives – our health, our careers, our happiness matters you know :-)
Looking back at the last 9 months, I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s been an amazing year in terms of professional and personal growth for me. As my little sister pointed out ‘ShimmerMe’ is my baby as well and in its early years, a phase when it needs a lot of nourishment. The balancing act between my babies has been taxing, but truly rewarding and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Most of my days are filled with a mix of emotions, highs and lows. One minute, I feel like I am losing my mind and the other, I feel like I am the most blessed person on earth. When I hit a low, I just remind myself that I am doing the right thing and in the best way I possibly can.
To each working mother reading this post - You are doing a wonderful job and being the best role model to your little one. More power to us mothers!
Let me conclude the post with this amazing quote on motherhood.
“You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘This is impossible—oh, this is impossible.’ And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.”
Wardrobe: For my first shoot post pregnancy and with the content in mind, I wanted to wear an outfit which embodies the harmony of tradition with future. The 3 piece outfit in handloom cotton reflects my Malayali heritage and also my affinity for change and novelty. The outfit is a stunning fusion creation custom made by my sister. If minimal, elegant, timeless are words that resonate with your aesthetic, reach out to her on the6yardswardrobe to get an outfit tailor made for you.
Jewelry: I couldn’t have found a better match in jewellery to complete this look. The gorgeous blend of traditional Kasu mala with Victorian inspired rose cut pink sapphires and diamonds narrates the story of a beautiful marriage of tradition with novelty. It is an excellent example of how one doesn’t take away from, rather adds on to the beauty of the other. I see these stunning creations from CJ Artisan Boutique ideal for the woman of today, one who embraces her roots while cradling the infinite possibilities of future.
Photography: VJ Wesley
